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..birds shining, sun chirping. My cotton panties were neatly folded by the side of the bed, which was weird; I’m not normally fussy at the best of times, so it was hard to believe I would have done that in my addled stupor. I staggered groggily out to the main room, where Bill was cooking up some eggs."Well," he said, with a grin. "That was one hell of an apology."I frowned, having no idea what he meant."Last night?" he said. A beat. "Don’t tell me you don’t remember!"Apparently, sometime after I crawled into bed, we had sex. No, not just sex: The bang-fest of the ages. Crazy shit. Bill said I was an a****l. Not "enthusiastic," or "eager," you understand, but like a real actual grunting and rutting a****l. "You did stuff I've never seen you do before," he said, after trying gamely to induce me to recall the night. I had to confess I had no memory of the whole thing. Not a single salacious detail. It was a total sleep-fucking blackout. If Bill told me I'd snapped and killed a man, or. It’s you who wants out of this marriage. Not me!Wife: You’re the man. Be brave, and get out!Husband: This is my HOME! And I didn’t do anything wrong. Please—Wife: No, it’s not. And yes, you did. Now get out.Husband [steps forward]: I’m not—Wife [flinches]: I’ll call the cops!Husband [touches her arm]: Please just listen—[WIFE slaps HUSBAND so hard he stumbles.] Husband: Fuck!Wife: I fucking warned you! [WIFE leaps on HUSBAND and claws his face.]Husband [struggling]: Fuck! Fuck![WIFE plants her thumbs in his eyes.]Husband [panicking]: No! FUCK!Wife: Gonna kill you![HUSBAND throws WIFE onto couch. She gasps and gapes.]Wife: Abuse! Abuser! I’m calling the cops!Husband [incredulous]: You were gonna blind me!Wife: You abusing fuck! I’m calling the cops!Husband [takes enormous, calming breath]: Look, I just—Wife: You sonofabitch, you’re going to jail! You’re gonna lose everything, me, our daughter, your job, everything—! Husband: Are you even listening to yourself? Can you hear yourself?.
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